He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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