my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize