But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
