Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
