Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
