Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
