What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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