We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
