My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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