Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
