I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
