I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
