I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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