I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
