He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
