I'm gonna have a badass scar
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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