I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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