this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
