i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
