does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
