i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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