Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
