why didn't you poke me back
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
