my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
