It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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