im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
