she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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