i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The air taste purple.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
