I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
