"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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