She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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