As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
