I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
