you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
