Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
