So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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