This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she woke up with a sticky ear
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
