There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
