She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
