my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
