You can't motorboat a personality
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
