my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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