well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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