There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
