Swine flu. Run for my life!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
