He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
