I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
