I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
