Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Please don't give away my fajitas
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