If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
