He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
