dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
