And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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