Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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