Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
