It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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