respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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