i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
