He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have aggressive nipples.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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