areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
