Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
