Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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