Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A+ Viking dick
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
