How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
