So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
